Pediatrishit

An expectant mother faces many new & important decisions: breast or bottle? co-sleep or crib? disposable or resuable diapers? sex after the recommended 6 weeks or fake it for 5 months? With all of the debates & bits of information making your mammaries spin, the last thing you want to worry about is finding the right pediatrician.  We had the good fortune of adoring the very first pediatrician we interviewed... the office was clean & organized, he was naturally-minded, and he performed magic tricks with his iPhone. sold!  Oh, did I mention his name was Dr. Nguyen Nguyen (pronounced win win)?  How could I NOT have a doctor named Win Win? Unfortunately, we moved four weeks after my son was born so we saw Dr. Win Win approximately three times...Lose Lose. sigh.
Since Holden was only four weeks old, it was imperative that we find a new ped immediately.  After making some phone calls, I settled on a doc close to home.  Upon arrival to Dr. Perry's office, my first clue should have been the fact that the floor & walls were covered in more dirt than Nicole Richie's feet.  strike one. My second clue should have been the fact that they didn't measure my son's head until a later visit when I brought up my concern about its shape.  I was assured by the doctor that he was totally normal, but I was still unconvinced.  Of all people, my son's Urologist raised some concern about his head, so we were sent to a geneticist & Holden was diagnosed with Torticollis & Plagiocephaly.  Strike two, Dr. Perry, you're fired.
I interviewed another pediatrician in the area, and decided to go with her.  At our last appointment in November, I told her that I plan on raising my son vegan.  She looked at me like I had wheat grass growing out of my ears. After much discussion & my being adament about not giving my son milk, she said that as long as he is getting enough calcium, vitamin D, and fat that he should be ok.  I wasn't thrilled with her lack of knowledge in this area, but she probably doesn't get too many vegan moms here in the south.
Anyways, Holden's 12 month appointment was today.  Considering his physical therapist cancelled on us 20 mins after his scheduled appointment this morning & we waited over an hour to see our ped, I was not a very happy camper.  And to make matters worse I really had to poop.  I figured I'd just have to hold it or blame it on the baby if there was an accident.  Once our ped decided to grace us with her presence, we did the regular weights & measures & ear checks & mouth check.  Holden is still in the 25th percentile, but according to the ped starting to "thin out".  She then said it was totally normal at this age for that to happen because of how active they become.  Sure, makes sense. That and he's grown nearly 4 inches in the last 2 months, but who's keeping track? Next up on this interrogation list, nutrition.  Again with the sideways glance when she discovers my child is drinking almond milk.  When I remind her that at our last appointment she said X,Y, & Z, she told me that she "must not have understood" me.  Weird, because I'm pretty sure that you had to go to school for quite some time in order to be a doctor, therefore as an educated woman you should be able to comprehend that I think milk is nasty and will not be giving it to my kid. Oh, that and my son is not a baby cow so he probably does not need milk from another species at this point.  She must have gone to the University of Michigan, because she told me just to put him on formula then.  Um, HELLO!  It comes from cows, and until my son grows an udder he will not be needing it.  She then procedes to tell me that his "thinning out" must be due to the fact that he's on almond milk, even though it is, according to her, typical at this age.  When I inform her that we just started the almond milk three days ago, she said, "Oh..."  Thus ensues the argument.  The argument where I tell her he gets flax oil & the vitamins that SHE prescribed in his calcium-fortified almond milk.  The argument where she was unable to validate any of reasons why my son actually needs milk.  The argument where she finally threw her arms up in the air and said "I don't know anything about it, that's just what I'm supposed to tell you!" Um, WOW.  I'm pretty sure that's what happened when all those religious nut bags drank the kool aid.  Just doin' what they were told. Well, unfortunately, that's not good enough for me, and it's certainly not good enough for my son.  I don't find it appropriate to just blindly accept information that someone else teaches you to be true.  Or rather, that a company whose personal interests teach you to be true.  Who do you think funds the "got milk?" campaign? Certainly not the American Heart Association. 
Anyways, I'm less than thrilled that my son's pediatrician blamed me for my son being thin, when he is in fact perfectly normal as she previously stated herself.  Just because my kid doesn't eat McDonald's or processed sugar doesn't mean that he's malnourished.  How many children do you see eat tofu or spinach? Drink carrot juice or V8?  I don't even see many adults eat as healthy as my son does. 
Our ped did not ask one question about what he DOES eat, just gave me shit about what he DOESN'T eat, because somewhere along the way she was told there is only one way to raise a child.  Well, there's more than one way to raise a child, and there's also more than one way to fire your pediatrician-- the polite way, or the deviant way.  Peace out, Dr. Field.